Shuichi's Letters
by ShariBerry
Summary: I was going to delete this because it's OOC but I decided to finish it because I have wonderful reviews. The story: Shuichi recieves letters from an almost-anonymous blackmailer demanding that he break his relationship with Eiri.
1. Mark My Words

Chapter One—Mark My Words

A winter downpour clattered to the dark streets below, which reflected an equally dark sky above. The sky moaned and growled, complaining to the citizens below and warning them of the oncoming storm. Street lights flickered, casting more shadows unto the already black pit of a city. Eiri Yuki stared out his window with downcast eyes. He watched the sidewalks. Watched as a random person every now and again walked through the desolate area, one of every two carrying a big black umbrella over their heads to protect them from the drenching rain.

Sighing, Eiri pulled a box of cigarettes from his pocket and pulled a cigarette out of the box. He pushed the box back into his pocket and reached into another, pulling out a lighter. With practiced ease, Eiri lit his cigarette, disposed of the lighter, and pulled the cigarette from his mouth, exhaling a waterfall of smoke. He tore his gaze from the empty streets below and returned with a sullen grace in his step to his desk. He kicked the chair toward him and seated himself, quickly spinning back to face the screen of his laptop. Eiri's cigarette hung loosely from the corner of his mouth as his fingers worked wonders upon the keyboard. Ideas flowed like lava across the page—slow, but engulfing everything in its path.

And so Eiri Yuki's long night began.

Shuichi flashed his wide, contagious grin as he darted through the hallways; a torn, crumpled paper in one hand, a pencil in the other.

"Yuuuuuukiiiii!" He shrieked, rounding the corner and leaping immediately into the open lap of Eiri Yuki.

The cigarette that had been hanging loosely from the corner of Eiri's mouth fell to the floor. Before it could catch anything alight, Eiri hurriedly stomped it out. He remained silent, staring at Shuichi with angry eyes. But his anger couldn't last long. Shuichi was too cute and too flamboyant—no self-respecting person could hold a grudge against the pink-haired wonder that Eiri dared to call his "lover".

The confused novelist stared into Shuichi's face awhile longer, and finally let his guard down.

"What is it?" He sighed, impulsively reaching for Shuichi's hand, but, finding a pencil in one and paper in the other, pulled his hand back defensively. Instead, he pulled another cigarette out of his box.

Shuichi's eyes grew wider, as did his smile.

"Guess!" He cawed.

Yuki stuck the unlit cigarette in his mouth and glared into Shuichi's violet eyes, searching for clues as to Shuichi's excitement. He had ideas, but he wasn't willing to guess. Most conclusions he'd made were unrealistic, and, to some extent, perverse. In fact, Eiri's face flushed as one thought led to another, and another. He couldn't help but grin, slightly.

Shuichi studied his face for some sort of hint as to Eiri's thoughts. He didn't miss Eiri's grin.

"You pervert! No!" Shuichi cried, shoving Eiri playfully back. He added in a more hushed tone, "That's for later,"

But Shuichi's attempt at perhaps being sexy was miserably failed.

Eiri wanted to laugh. Desperately, he wanted to laugh. Shuichi's face described a tumult of emotions, all locked into those violet eyes, that awkward nose, and that ear-to-ear grin. He looked hilarious. But Eiri couldn't bring himself to laugh. Instead, he let out a long, shuddering sigh. His heart tied itself into a knot of emotion, tugging violently at his chest as he inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled.

"Yukiiii?" Shuichi's face immediately switched from his tumult of emotions to worry. He pursed his lips in a fake pout.

The chair beneath him squealed in protest.

"Just tell me, Shu. What is it?" Eiri sounded more irritated than he felt.

Shuichi stared at him, as if contemplating whether or not he should just get to the point or maybe if he should keep teasing him. In the end, he decided to just get to the point, sensing irritation from Eiri.

"I finished my lyrics!" Shuichi shrieked.

Pride turned his face golden.

Eiri glanced at the torn, crumpled paper in Shuichi's hand. He stared into Shuichi's golden face expectantly. The singer did nothing to satisfy him.

"So, you going to show me the lyrics or what?" Eiri murmured.

Shuichi stared at him for a moment longer, and then snapped back into reality with a twitch and a long gulp for air.

"Oh!" He handed Eiri the paper and jumped out of his lap happily.

The chair squealed even louder.

Eiri immediately regretted Shuichi's leaving his lap as the warmth was sucked away with him. He unfolded the paper Shuichi had given him and quickly ran through its contents. The song consisted mainly of love, love, sunshine, love, and a paradox of love and hate. Although the paradox was well thought out, (and Eiri doubted it was Shuichi's writing,) the rest of the song was unnecessary and simply awkward.

Eiri grumbled as his eyes soaked in the contours of the crumpled paper in his hand, "This is even worse than your _first_ song."

Shuichi's jaw dropped.

"_What?_" He squeaked.

"80% of what you're saying is absolutely unnecessary. As I said, it's worse than your first." Eiri explained.

The explanation seemed perfectly valid to him. But, according to the expression of pure terror on Shuichi's face, it wasn't.

Shuichi pouted again, but this time it wasn't fake. Tears were already beginning to soften the corners of his eyes.

"What do you mean…worse than my first song?" Shuichi's voice gave way to a high pitched squeak. His shoulders hunched, and he stared at Eiri with a blank expression.

"I mean you need to work on it," Eiri twisted in his chair, facing his keyboard once again. His fingers padded on the keys with practiced rapidity. He spoke as he typed.

"There was a lot of repetition in those lyrics. Cut down the repetition, find some better adjectives, and use better grammar to rephrase your lines. They sounded awkward and unnecessary."

Eiri didn't have to look at Shuichi to know that the first tears had fallen, but he was merely sharing his criticism. In his mind, Shuichi had asked for criticism. It's exactly what he got. Nothing more, nothing less.

Eiri expected Shuichi to be silent and simply cry it out and write some better lyrics in an act of desperation or fall asleep on the couch, returning to the lyrics the next morning. He didn't expect Shuichi's next line of action.

"Well," Shuichi cried, "I don't care what you think!"

But, to emphasize his point, Shuichi threw the pencil that was in his hand to the floor and took his paper in both hands. He ripped it through the middle, ripped it again, and again, until the mangled remnants of his heart's lyrics were scattered along the floor.

More tears fell from Shuichi's face, which was flushed an almost purely scarlet red.

"In fact, I think I've been here long enough. You don't want me here. So why do I stay, anyway?" Shuichi rambled as tears wracked his body. He paced in circles to release the negative energy that coursed through him. He glared at Eiri, who paid no visual attention to his rant.

"I'll leave!" He threatened. "I'll leave and _never_ come back!"

Shuichi marched out of the room with clenched fists. As soon as he left the room, Eiri saved his writing and turned in his chair, looking after Shuichi as he stomped through the hallway. Shuichi's threat had shocked Eiri, to be sure, but Eiri didn't expect him to be gone long. A day, maybe, if Shuichi could stand being away from the novelist that long. Eiri decided to let it go, and let Shuichi blow off some steam. The rock star probably needed it, anyway.

Eiri returned to his writing without a second thought while, in the other room, Shuichi cried and slammed items into suitcases, exaggerating his movements to be dramatic and perhaps catch Eiri's emotions and force him to persuade Shuichi to stay. But Eiri didn't enter, and, for some odd reason, Shuichi was glad of this.

"You're such a jerk!" Shu called from across the hallway, "You jerk! You jerk! _You jerk_!"

Eiri sighed and focused on his work. Shu's words stung him, but he decided to let the pain pass him by. Shuichi would get over it, they'd be together again, the pain would be stitched up, perhaps by a passionate kiss from those lips Eiri had come to cherish.

Shuichi packed his bags with a sullen expression on his face. He hoped, desperately, that Eiri wouldn't enter the room. Silent tears streaked down his face, burning on his skin like acid. Shuichi left a few items, such as a teddy bear Eiri had won for him at a fair Shu had dragged him to awhile back, a weird wall decoration he'd inherited from his grandmother, and a few other odds and ends around the house so as to make Eiri suspect he was coming back soon. When, in all reality, Shuichi Shindo had no intention of ever returning to Eiri Yuki's home, his arms, his warmth.

Once he had everything gathered together in three suitcases, Shuichi pulled one onto his back, like a backpack, and hitched the other two into his arms. He stared sullenly at the walls of the home for a long while until; finally, with gasping tears, he turned to leave. As he reached the door, Shuichi stopped, and turned around, as though he'd forgotten something.

He murmured to the house, "Mark my words, Eiri—I'm _never_ coming back."

Shuichi shocked himself with the contempt in his voice. It was almost spiteful. It pained him to hear the words he'd never even thought of saying come from his very mouth.

With that, he turned and left, walking into the icy downpour of the dark winter night. He had no coat, nor did he have an umbrella. All he had was a choking thought that kept his heart beating with a ferocity it had never known before. Through the chilled wilderness of the night, Shuichi was warmer than he'd ever been in his life. His body caught fever, and, as he struggled onward, his heart pounded against his chest, screaming at him to return to Eiri's comforting arms.

This time, he wouldn't listen.

He absolutely refused.

He _couldn't_ listen.

Even if his own life were in danger, Shuichi Shindo would not listen to his heart. The half that worked in his best interest, that is.


	2. Never Return

Chapter 2—Never Return

Eiri stared at his computer screen blankly. Words were scrambled over the page in a jumbled mess of ink, ideas, and grief. His hands lingered over the keyboard, shaking noticeably.

It'd been a week already. And Shuichi wasn't back. But he'd left a few items, as though he were going to come back soon. But he hadn't yet. And Eiri was slowly growing depressed. His writing slacked, his movements were more subtle. He'd expected Shuichi to come sooner, and now, after he'd left and stayed away for so long, Shu's words dug into Eiri's heart like a stone-cold blade, wrenching its way through his chest.

"_You jerk!"_

_Am I really?_ Eiri thought as he glared intensely at one of the blank walls of his home.

Am _I a jerk to you, Shu? Do you hate me for it?_

Eiri's hand shifted over the desk, where his cell phone lay, alone and begging him to call Hiroshi. More than likely, Shuichi was spending his time at Hiro's home. Eiri didn't want to give in—he knew Shu would be waiting for the call. He knew he'd experience ridicule for getting worried. But he had no choice—he _had_ to do it.

Eiri grabbed the phone forcibly and, with shaky hands, dialed the number. He held the phone up to his ear and waited impatiently as it rung once, twice, three times before being answered.

"Hello?" Hiroshi's voice sounded dull and tired. Eiri glanced at the clock habitually. It was only 6:55. How could Hiroshi be tired at a time like this?

_Where's Shuichi?_ Eiri wanted to ask straightforward, but he kept himself dignified.

"Is Shuichi staying with you?" He enquired smoothly.

It wasn't before he had spoken that Eiri realized that 'Is Shuichi staying with you?' wasn't much better than 'Where's Shuichi?'. He scolded himself minutely before straining once again to listen for a response.

There was a momentary silence on the other line before Hiroshi finally spoke up.

"No. Why? Is he okay?" Eiri could hear an underlying anger growing beneath Hiro's words. It was almost intimidating to the novelist. And the near intimidation was amusing to him.

"He left a week ago," Eiri kept his voice calm.

In all reality, he wanted to cry. But he wouldn't let himself get to that point.

He continued, "We got in a fight. And he left."

"A fight!" Hiroshi no longer sounded tired in the least. He sounded pissed. "What happened?"

The phone buzzed slightly, jarring Eiri's attention. His mind soared away from reality in the seconds that passed.

"Eiri!" Hiroshi's yell ripped Eiri from the alternate dimensions his mind had been exploring.

With a start, Eiri explained, "He came to me with some lyrics and I gave my critique." With that, he leaned back into the chair at his desk and waited for Hiro's response.

There was a silence on the other end, and then a long, dragged out sigh. Eiri could hear something tapping slightly in the background noise. He guessed it to be a pencil or a pen. He imagined Hiroshi's fuming face. And the worry that Shuichi's disappearance must have stricken within him. He wished he hadn't called, because it definitely sounded like Shuichi wasn't staying with Hiroshi. Eiri stared at his toes and thought about the worry that ate at his own heart.

He wished Shuichi would return. He didn't care about the ridicule any longer.

"Have you called his cell?" Hiroshi asked. It was obvious he was having trouble keeping himself calm by the shudder in his voice.

Eiri was taken aback by the question. His eyes twitched, threatening to show emotion. He hadn't thought of calling Shuichi's phone. The novelist closed his eyes and rubbed his temples slowly.

_How could I be so stupid? Ugh. Shuichi's gotten to my head._

"Yes," He lied, sighing out his emotions.

"And?" Hiroshi sounded impatient, as though he were trying to drag information from a small child.

And Eiri played the part of that small child until the end.

"There was no answer." He lied again. He continued quickly, "I need to get back to work. Call me if you find Shuichi."

He hung up before Hiroshi could respond.

Eiri threw his phone onto the desk and stared at it for a long while. His head fumed. His heart burned. His body ached.

_Why the hell hadn't I thought of calling Shuichi? What form of idiocy possessed me in the passing days that I did not think of calling his phone? _

Eiri grabbed his phone again quickly and stood from where he was sitting by his desk. Clenching the phone angrily in his hand, Eiri paced about the room. He stopped momentarily to punch in the number, and brought the phone up to his ear. Once he heard the first ring, he continued pacing over the rug.

_Rrrrriiiinnggg…._

The phone tugged at Eiri's patience. He stared at the walls surrounding him as he paced, nervous. What if Shuichi didn't answer? And what if he _did_? What could Eiri say to him? How could he possibly apologize for hurting Shuichi's feelings so badly as to make him stay away from Eiri for so long?

_Rrrriiiinnggg…._

"Ugh!" Eiri snarled.

His pacing grew faster. The walls around him became an incomprehensible blur.

"Pick up! Pick up pick up pick up!" He yelled into the phone.

_Rrrriii_—the phone was interrupted in mid-ring by a loud tap. Someone had answered the phone.

"Hello?" A small voice whispered into the receiver. It was Shuichi. But he sounded abnormally quiet, almost strenuous.

Shuichi was _never_ quiet.

"Shuichi?" Eiri dared to venture.

There was silence on the other line. And not just a silence without words—there was no static, nothing. There was just complete and utter silence. The only thing Eiri could hear was the rapid beat of his own heart. And it sent a chill down his back.

Eiri was about to say something to break the silence when he was cut off by Shuichi's voice.

"Eiri!" But it was all he was able to say before he was cut off by a string of long, violent-sounding coughs.

Eiri listened eagerly as Shuichi fumbled with the phone. He heard the phone drop to the floor, and Shuichi's wretched coughing in the background noise. Now Eiri wished for that silence to return. Even silence was better than _that_. The chill that had crawled down his back climbed its way back up and stayed in the small of his back, threatening to send him into a panic. Finally, Shuichi's coughing died down and he picked up the phone once more.

"Eiri," He repeated, and acted as though he were about to say something more, but stopped himself short.

"Shuichi, you're sick." Eiri growled. "Where _are_ you?"

The silence came again, but not for long. Shuichi put the phone down and Eiri could hear him coughing again, but this time there was something at the end of the string of coughs that disturbed Eiri and chilled him to the bone. He could hear the sound as Shuichi retched on the other line. The coughs became wet, and died down quickly, but Shuichi's shuddering breaths did not go unheard by the worried novelist.

"Shuichi!" He called out.

Shuichi didn't pick up the phone again. Eiri heard him groan as he got to his feet, heard him stagger, and leave the room.

"Shuichi!" Eiri tried again, disbelieving what he heard.

Even when Shuichi was sick, there was no way he'd just ignore Eiri. And Eiri knew that. Shuichi wasn't the type of person to ignore anyone. And he had made no effort to be sure Eiri didn't worry about him. Something was definitely going on, and Eiri Yuki was intent on discovering what.

"Shuichi!" He cried.

There was no response. Eiri stopped pacing and placed both hands on the phone, pressing it powerfully against his ear. He stared at his hands. They shook as adrenaline coursed through him. With each passing second Eiri was getting more and more worried. The silence tugged at Eiri's mind. He didn't want to think of Shuichi as sick, or, even worse, in pain. He didn't want that. And he didn't want to have that nagging feeling dragging on his chest, warning him that it was _his fault_ that Shuichi was hurting.

He didn't know how, he didn't want to _think _of the possible reasons, but somehow Eiri knew that, in the end, it was his fault.

It had been ten minutes before Eiri realized that he still had the phone pressed up against his face. And another five to realize that he was shaking more than ever. Eiri pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it. Finally, he tore his vision from the dark contours of his phone and walked through his hallway, and into the living room. He seated himself on the couch and stared once again at the black phone in his hand.

"Hello?" The sound barely reached his ears, but immediately Eiri had the phone against his ear once again.

"Shuichi?" He inquired.

"No," The voice replied. "I'm sorry to say that Shuichi Shindou is no longer in the building."

Eiri's eyes widened. Exactly where had Shuichi _gone_?

"Can you tell me where he is?" Eiri struggled to keep his voice calm. He struggled not to yell at this person that Shuichi was sick and might need a doctor, judging by the ferocity of his coughing. He struggled not to lose his temper.

"I'm afraid I can't do that." The voice responded in a tone that implied they'd been asked the same question a number of times before.

"Why not?" Eiri channeled his rage into his voice this time, leaving nothing behind.

The same tone of voice replied, "It is under the request of Shuichi Shindou that, if inquired as to his whereabouts, I should not release them under any cost, threat, alibi, or enquiry."

"What?" Eiri stood. His face burned red with anger.

"However," The voice continued, "You may leave a message and I will make sure it gets to Mr. Shindou."

"Where is Shuichi?" Eiri barked, unable to keep it back, "I need to know where he is!"

"Do you, Mr. Yuki?" The voice on the other line took on a dark tone. "Well, I should be happy to inform you that Shuichi Shindou is never returning to you. In fact, he's happier now than he's been in a long time, now that you're out of his life. He says he feels free now that he's out of your death grip on his heart. I didn't want to tell you this, because I thought I might spare you both some pain, but I feel obligated to say it anyway. Mr. Shuichi Shindou will _never_ return to you, Eiri Yuki."

With that, the phone disconnected, leaving Eiri to the piercing silence of his home.

"I don't believe it," He whispered to himself, breaking the silence with his voice. "I don't believe him."

Eiri didn't realize that the phone had slipped out of his hand until it was too late. It made a raucous clattering noise as it hit the floor. The noise made Eiri wince, but he was soon spiraling back into his alternate realities, trying desperately to tell himself that what had been said over the phone definitely wasn't true. It couldn't be true, therefore it wasn't. The logic still didn't fit.

Eiri found himself stretching out over the couch. He stared at the ceiling, finding patterns in the blank white surface that stared back at him. His heart ached terribly. Tears threatened to dampen his cheeks.

"If you wanted to run away," The tears came, "You could have just run away." Eiri took a long, shuddering breath. "Did you really hate me that much?"

As time passed, Eiri's eyelids slowly crept over his eyes. His thoughts slowed down. The couch became comfier and comfier to him, as though he were lying on clouds. But, just as soon as his eyes closed, Eiri saw an image of Shuichi sleeping on the very couch he lay on now. Shuichi in his tiny tank top and those shorts. Hadn't he been cold? It was like he had just been _waiting_ for Eiri to bring him a blanket. In fact, Eiri wouldn't put it past him to do something like that. The thought of Shuichi planning something like that out made Eiri's lip twitch, and sent a grin to his pale face. And the thought of Shuichi alone sent a violent chill through Eiri's back. He sighed and picked himself up off the couch.

He didn't pick his phone up from the floor. He stumbled past the couch and into the next room; his bedroom.

Eiri walked up to his bed and sat down, sinking into the soft contours of the bed. He pulled his legs up into the covers. As soon as his head hit the pillow, and maybe a half of a second before, Eiri Yuki fell asleep with one thing in particular on his mind. Or, rather, one person.

Eiri awoke with a start as the light in his room flicked on and a soft red light burned at the corners of his eyes. He sat up without opening his eyes and leaned his head forward, curling himself into a ball. Groaning, Eiri opened his eyes and let them get used to the light.

A sudden thought hit him like a thunder bolt against the side of his head.

"Shuichi?" He asked, looking up.

A figure stood in the doorway to greet him, but it wasn't Shuichi. No, the figure was too tall and well-built to be Shuichi. But other than that, Eiri couldn't decipher any of their features.

"I'm afraid you're quite mistaken," The figure spoke. It was the same voice that had been on the phone. "Shuichi Shindou is not even near here. And he's never coming back to this place."

Eiri swung his legs over to the side of his bed and stared at the dark shadow of a person that stood in his doorway.

"How'd _you_ get in here?" He could taste the resentment he spat at the man as he spoke, and his own resentment toward this person he did not know frightened him.

The figure chuckled, and stepped forward into the light.

Eiri had expected to see a normal person standing before him. A normal face. Normal clothes. A normal presence.

Instead, the figure wore a black tuxedo, a red tie, white gloves, fancy dress shoes. A large-rimmed black hat engulfed his face in shadows. The man looked as though he were dressed up for some sort of Halloween party. And, for whatever reason, that scared Eiri.

"How did you get in here?" Eiri repeated, louder, and with more contempt than before.

"I allowed myself in through the front door," The man's voice changed. His tone became as suave as his outfit.

"The front door was locked." Eiri growled.

"Well," The man chuckled, "That's why I used this."

In just one brisk movement the man whipped out a keychain. He held it with his middle and pointer fingers, as if it were dangerous. Eiri stared at the keychain in disbelief.

It was a pink elephant with purple toes, ears and eyes. It was Shuichi's keychain. And below the elephant, a key dangled in the light of Eiri's room. Shuichi's key.

"How'd you get that?" Eiri bellowed, leaping to his feet.

A smile crept over the man's shielded face.

"So you _do_ recognize it."

He twirled the keychain around his fingers with a sort of giddy ease. That pissed Eiri off. His limbs stiffened as anger pulsed through his veins.

"Where is Shuichi?" He demanded. "You tell me, or I'll kill you."

"My, my, we're in a bad mood." The man spun around, stuffing the keychain back into his pocket and turning his back to Eiri. "I told you before, I'm not permitted to tell you the location of Mr. Shindou."

Eiri growled, and lunged. He flung his arms in the direction of the man's neck. But he ran past him. Ran right _through_ him. Confused, Eiri lashed back around to face the man. But he was nowhere to be seen.

It wasn't long until Eiri heard laughter come from above him. He looked up, but no one was there.

"Just like Shuichi, I'm dead to you, Eiri. I'm gone from your world." The voice was echoed by laughter.

But the laughter faded away.

As soon as Eiri opened his eyes, he realized the dream. And as soon as he felt the cold sweat that covered his body, he realized how much it had affected him. He leapt out of bed and ran into the living room, reaching desperately for his phone.


	3. Find Me

Chapter Three—Find Me (Hey! Author's note! …for once. There's a little bit of cussing in this chapter. Eiri gets a little upset ]: Poor fellow. Anywho! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and thanks to anyone who's thinking about reviewing! Go ahead. I won't bite. Reading your reviews makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I feel appreciated. Also, this story is turning out to be a real challenge for me. It's a little OOC, but I started it out that way and I can't change it now, when I finally realize it. I really dread writing this story since it's such a challenge for me. Isn't that lovely? :D I love challenges! And all reviews are very motivational to me! Every time I read one I write at least another paragraph on my next chapter. Especially if they're long reviews! xD So thank you! I'll get to sending out personal messages back to everyone who's reviewed me, but I'm really lazy. So that may take awhile.

Also, as you'll see, I've created my own character for the sole purpose of antagonist. So, yeah, this new character is not a part of the anime or the manga. Also, everyone's telling me I need to say it: I don't own the anime or the manga. Whoever thinks I do should read this until they understand that I don't.

Third Chapter! I'm excited! ENJOY!~

Much love!~Shari)

Shuichi stared into the darkness with big, curious eyes. He had no idea what had just happened. A moment ago…a few moments ago…he had been on the phone with Eiri. Oh, that had excited him. But as he was talking, something happened. And everything leading up to that spot was clear, except that fuzzy part from about the middle of their short conversation, to now. His mind just couldn't digest it. Or it _wouldn't_.

And so he sat in a cold corner of a dark room, staring into the nothingness that was laid out before him. Every time he tried to think, his head pounded against every thought that entered his head, sending thrills of pain throughout the whole of his body. And he just didn't get that. Nor did he understand the jittery, painful feeling that pulsed through his veins with every beat of his heart. He had to move. Had to keep moving. Couldn't _stop_ moving. The feeling frightened him.

"Shuichi," The voice. That voice again. It commanded him, it brought him here. It told him things that pierced through to him, to his very soul.

The voice intrigued him as well as it repulsed him. And everyone knows…curiosity killed the cat.

"Shuichiiiii," The voice called again, this time with a casual bite to it. "Shuichi, where are you?"

_You don't know me_, Shuichi thought. He hated the voice. And he hated the face behind it with a burning intensity. If Shuichi had ever gone to killing, the man that stood in the doorway before him would be first on his list. But, really, he didn't know the man. He knew his face, he knew his voice, and his deceptions, yet he didn't know the man at all. And that, more than anything, pissed him off.

"Shuichi, I know you're in here," Shuichi could imagine the man's ear-to-ear grin. The mental image disgusted him.

Shuichi suddenly coughed, giving away whatever cover he had. And the cough wasn't just a single jump from his throat; it turned into a wet string of coughs. His throat felt like daggers were piercing it. As soon as his coughing faded into his chest, Shuichi reached up to his neck and stroked it. It didn't help his throat, but it soothed the coughing, slightly.

"Mr. Shindou, you're ill." The voice faltered as it dropped to a lower, more professional tone. "You should get to a hospital."

"Screw you," Shuichi growled. He was getting more and more pissed off. He could feel the blood that rolled down his chin from the violent coughs. It made him tremble.

"That's not a very kind way to treat the one who saved you from the bad weather, Mr. Shindou. Don't forget that I gave you a place to stay, and I'm helping you fulfill your promise to me. Eiri Yuki doesn't need you; you're both better off without him. And I'm doing the best thing for both of you."

Shuichi bit his lip. How _dare_ he say something like that? But Shuichi wouldn't complain, or retaliate. He remembered what happened last time he did. The hand that rested on his neck impulsively reached down to his stomach, where a large foot-shaped bruise had formed from the previous day.

_Please, Yuki, find me…_ Shuichi thought as he curled up into the corner and waited for the man he hated with the whole of his heart to find him in the darkness, or for death to take him before that was possible.

Eiri Yuki sat at his desk with three things on his mind. Shuichi, his dream, and Shuichi. Oh, and, one more thing—the fact that no one had noticed Shuichi's disappearance, and no one besides Hiro was willing (or had the time) to help Eiri in his search for his lost lover.

He wouldn't believe anything that was said by anyone beside Shuichi. Shuichi hadn't yet uttered the words that, at the moment, haunted Eiri's poor mind.

"_He's never coming back to this place._

_Shuichi Shindou is never returning to you. In fact, he's happier now than he's been in a long time, now that you're out of his life._

_Just like Shuichi, I'm dead to you, Eiri. I'm gone from your world."_

Eiri inhaled deeply. The sudden rush of air through to his lungs sent his body into a series of convulsive chills. However, they subsided quickly, leaving Eiri breathless, and hopeless. And the feelings that swept through him didn't appeal to him at all. Growling with a repressed angst, Eiri slammed his hands down on his desk.

"God damn it!" He yelled to himself. "Shuichi!"

"Uhh…Did I come at a bad time?"

Eiri lashed around, still shaking with anger. To his surprise, and further angst, Tohma Seguchi stood in his doorway, pulling his fingers through an unnaturally clean blue scarf that was tied loosely around his neck. Tohma stared at Eiri with worried eyes.

"How the hell did_ you_ get in here?" Eiri demanded immediately.

"What, did I startle you?" Tohma sounded pleasantly calm, considering the situation Eiri had placed him in—unwanted houseguest. "If I did, I'm sorry, Uesugi-san."

"Yes, you startled me." Eiri moaned, sinking back into his office chair and listening to the sound of his pounding heart.

Why the hell was he so riled up in the first place?

Eiri stared at Tohma's face, searching for signs of information. He knew that Tohma would go to any length to secure his safety, if not his happiness. He'd tried to get rid of Shuichi once before. He'd do it again if he thought Eiri was in danger. And that was reason enough not to trust his brother-in-law.

However, finding nothing in the purely serious face of Tohma Seguchi, Eiri questioned in a calmer yet not quite to the point of casual tone;

"Now, tell me again how you _got in my house?_"

"Oh, that," Tohma's face took on a subtle shade of red as he realized he had dodged the question the first time it had been asked. "I came to see how you were holding up, you know, with Shuichi…"

Eiri's eyes widened. He resumed his natural composure quickly though, to be sure that it was not questioned.

_How does he know about Shuichi already?_ He wondered. _It's only been a little over a week. Is this guy really that in the know?_

Eiri snapped out of his thoughts and listened to the rest of what Tohma had to say.

"With a baseball bat!" Tohma paused, and looked at Eiri's face.

_What the_ hell _did I just miss?_

"Anyway," Tohma continued, apparently satisfied with Eiri's expression, which was, in reality, more confusion than reaction. "When I finally got here, I knocked on the door and the door just swung open. And then I heard you yelling, so I let myself in."

"Oh." It was all Eiri could say. He could feel a headache coming on, driving at his temples.

"So, how are you doing, Uesugi-san?" Tohma smiled innocently, like it wasn't a crime or unwanted in any way to simply allow oneself in Eiri's home.

After all, that's what Shuichi had done, right?

"I've told you time and time again, Tohma, it's Yuki. Eiri Yuki." Eiri corrected.

Tohma frowned, and pushed the thought immediately away. Eiri watched him as his eyes darted from Eiri's face to his scarf, (which was still in his hands) to the ceiling, and, lastly, to the floor.

"So, other than to ask unnecessary questions," Eiri glared into Tohma's face, which was still directed at the floor. "Why are you here?"

Tohma continued to stare at the floor a few minutes longer, before snapping out of his trance.

"What?" He blinked.

"Why are you here in the first place?" Eiri repeated.

"Oh, that." Tohma fixed his blank stare on Eiri.

Another few minutes of silence passed. Eiri was about to say something, but Tohma finally began to speak, cutting him off.

"I heard that something happened to Shuichi, and I came to discuss my knowledge with you." His voice sounded matter-of-factly, like he knew something Eiri didn't.

Unwilling to let any extra knowledge escape his rabidly intent ears, Eiri remained silent, waiting.

"I heard from Hiroshi-san that Shuichi left a few days ago after getting in a fight with you," Tohma's gaze hardened. "So I was about to investigate it and come here first, when I found a letter on the floor of my office addressed to Shuichi. He probably dropped it in one of his mad rushes from the studio. Anyway, the sender's name seemed familiar to me. The letter was sent from an Uretayu Tashi." (pronounced ooh-ray-tie-you touch-ee)  
Eiri stiffened. The name definitely sounded familiar to him. Tohma saw him stiffen, and continued, shifting his own gaze back to his scarf as he did so. He knew what face that had appeared in Eiri's mind at the mention of the name.

"No, not like Aizawa Tachi. I looked into that. He doesn't have any relatives named Uretayu, and the name's different anyway, although not _much_ different."

While he spoke, Tohma reached into his long pockets and pulled out an envelope that had, obviously, been opened. Although the flap was placed back against the folds of the paper in an attempt to hide that the contents of the letter had been read over, it couldn't hide the fact that they had been.

"I won't lie—I did read over the contents of the letter, but I won't judge anyone for this. My sole purpose coming here today was to hand you this, and to explain how truly sorry I am for you, under the circumstances." Tohma stared at the letter, and shoved it toward Eiri with sad eyes.

Eiri took the letter and looked back at Tohma, studying his face. It seemed sincere. He pulled the envelope open and took out the crumpled piece of paper, going over it with his eyes before he could even see the words that littered the page with flawlessly inked letters.

Tohma mumbled on, "I don't understand part of it, because I don't know Uretayu-san. But apparently he knows you. And, according to the letter, you know him. I'm not going to dig any deeper into this, though." Tohma got to his feet. "If I get any more letters for Shuichi I'll be sure to let you know."

With that, and a respectful bow toward Eiri, Tohma took his leave of the room. Eiri listened silently as the door squealed open, and shut with a subtle thud. Eiri's eyes shifted down to the letter in his hands. He had unfolded it and wanted desperately to read it, but something of Tohma's face and voice made him hesitate. He knew he wouldn't want to know the contents of the letter once he'd read it. But it had to do with Shuichi. And he had to do it.

Eiri opened up the letter and stared down the page intensely.

'Shuichi Shindou,

I'm quite aware of your situation with a Mr. Eiri Yuki. And I'm very disappointed. Eiri Yuki's work has lacked ever since you have become his lover. I am sure that you distracting him from his writing has disappointed numerous fans. And I am sure that Eiri's heart is also lacking something. I know you, Shuichi Shindou. I know everything about you. And I know you cannot satisfy Mr. Yuki. No one can. But just because no one can doesn't mean you can take advantage of his situation. I have a proposal for you that will benefit the both of us. And Eiri Yuki, for that matter. In fact, I'm sure he'll benefit more than you or I shall. You see, I've been watching you. And I've been watching Eiri Yuki as well. And I propose that you leave Eiri. Have a fight with him, lead him on, and go far away from him. If you compel to my wishes, then Eiri Yuki will face no more heartache, and no physical pain will come his way as far as I'm concerned. I'm sure he'll be much happier once you're far away from him; I can see that the stress is killing him inside. Otherwise, the emotional stress and physical strain will continue.

I will send you three more letters like this one. Let no one see them. Keep the idea hidden from all others. Check the mail before anyone else can get to it. And once you've finished reading them, burn them. Good luck, Shuichi Shindou!

--Uretayu Tashi"

"What the hell?" Eiri's immediate response was spat through his teeth.

He got to his feet and started toward the door with barely a moment's thought. He stormed outside.

Eiri's body shrank back against the sudden burst of cold that hit him as he stepped out the door, but he had something on his mind.

Once Eiri reached his destination, the mailbox, he yanked it open and pulled out the three envelopes, turning back to go inside the warm house again. Upon closing the door behind him, Eiri realized he had been holding his breath and exhaled deeply. Tears clouded in his eyes.

"Why did you believe this, Shuichi? Why didn't you tell me, and let me handle it?"

Eiri retreated back to the couch before tearing the envelopes open. Two were bills, but one was not. Eiri stared in disbelief at the words he saw smeared on the page. It was Shuichi's handwriting.

'Eiri,

By the time you get this, I should be pretty far away. I just wanted to tell you that, every…'

This part of the letter was scratched out, but Eiri could make out three words of the jumbled mess, and they told him what the paragraph was about. _Day. Miss. You._

'I know now of our situation together. I know that it's tearing you apart. And I don't want that. So I'm leaving now, and I doubt you'll ever find me. I doubt after this you'll ever _want_ to find me.'

That last sentence was also scratched out, but Eiri could still read it. And it gnawed at his heart.

'Live a good life, and continue your novels. I love you and have always,

-Shu'

The letter was short, contrite, and heart-wrenching. The air was stripped from Eiri's chest. He gasped for oxygen, staring sullenly into Shuichi's hurried handwriting. His heart rate climbed.

_You dumbass…_

Eiri shifted his gaze to his cell phone, which lay, black and glistening, on his desk. Suddenly, the phone vibrated, spinning on the slick wooden surface. Eiri's eyes widened. He stood, tossing the letter in his hands aside, and stepped toward the pulsating phone. He picked it up and flipped it open.

"Hello?" His eyes were wide, and his breath was still gone.

He didn't feel himself.

"Hi." The voice on the other end shocked, and pleased, Eiri's ears.


End file.
